What’s not to love? EVERYTHING! What was meant to be a visual tour-de-force ended up being an unwatchable mess made all the more intolerable by its insufferably smug look-how-cool-I-am attitude. If for any reason any of the following ten worst horror movies of the decade are unable to fulfill their obligations as one of the ten worst horror movies of the past ten years, this first runner-up will be asked to step in and complete the list. This one did not quite make the final cut but it remains worthy of special consideration. This leads us to a very special DISHONORABLE MENTION. If you need me to tell you why then you either haven’t seen the remake of The Wicker Man or you haven’t watched this highlight video. Night Shyamalan was being compared to the likes of Alfred Hitchcock and Steven Spielberg. A loopy ecological thriller about pissed-off plants that cause people to commit suicide in the most preposterous manner possible to think when the decade began M. Mark Wahlberg giving the best performance in the history of cinema by an actor behaving like a man suffering from a concussion not actually playing a character suffering from a concussion Zooey Deschanel doing the most uncanny impression of a perpetually startled lemur you will ever see philosophical arguments in defense of the hot dog people trying to outrun and even outsmart the wind. Frankenstein from the parts of Alfred Hitchcock, David Lynch, Lamberto Bava, Tod Browning, and Brian De Palma could make into a workable film. A perfect storm of cinema gone wrong: a tabloid fodder actress trying to change her on-screen image even though it’s her off-screen image that needs changing and an off-the-charts preposterous screenplay that not even a director created by Dr. You simply cannot make a movie that achieves the levels of badness that this surreal schlock does without having started out with loftier goals and without question I Know Who Killed Me was clearly a Herculean effort on the part of its makers. What’s everyone else’s excuse? This level of jaw-dropping WTF-ness requires serious effort. ![]() A high concept movie in the sense that everyone involved with the making of it had to have been high. Boll tried putting out a “ funny version” of this film that wasn’t even 1/100th as intentionally funny as his crowning achievement was unintentionally so.įour words: non-religious identical twin stigmata. Wood, Jr., territory on so many occasions House of the Dead may very well be Plan 9 from Outer Space for the 21st Century. This deliriously insane mess verges so sharply into Edward D. At least it’s lively, something that cannot be said of a few other Boll-infused snoozers. Trash talking before the release about how his film was going to kick Resident Evil‘s ass – way to set the bar high there, Uwe trash talking Internet fanboys after the release for decrying his magnum opus as an incompetent and incoherent debacle that has only the faintest ties to the plotless video game on which it is based. The movie that effectively introduced the movie-watching world to a mad German named Uwe Boll and we’ve never been the same since. ![]() A motion picture that will live in infamy.
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